life

I don't know about anyone else, but every once in a while, maybe once or twice a year everything just seems to build up until finally the dam breaks and I have a really good cry, and then everything is all right with the world again, and I move forward once again through life. Well today was one of those days. Sunday's are always the hardest day to get through when Travis is gone, I'm not sure exactly why that is, but that just seems to be the case. Anyway, the kids, especially Joseph gave me a difficult time getting ready for church, but we did make it on time. I had a talk with the kids on the way to church about being reverent and helping mommy since daddy wasn't there. Well, shortly after sitting down at church I realized I was in trouble. Samuel would not hold still, and Joseph wouldn't stop bugging everyone around him. I was really struggling as the meeting started to get my kids to hold still and be quiet, and then the couple sitting behind me got up and went and sat on the hard seats in the back. While I was stopping Joseph from picking on Austin, Samuel climbed under the seat, and as I reached down to get him the strap of my dress snapped. Oh great! I had had enough I told each of my children that we were leaving and to follow me. They all managed to follow except for Betsy who was engrossed in her coloring(poor girl, she was being really good for me). Anyway after we exited I told Austin to go back in and retrieve Betsy, and then a sister in the ward came out and asked me if the kids could sit with her. I knew Betsy would be good, so I told her the she could sit with betsy(later betsy told me "that grandma was really nice, she came and got me and let me color the whole time) then I took the rest of the kids downstairs to the YW room, becuase I could turn on the intercom and listen to sacrament meeting while keeping them contained. They built forts with table clothes, chairs, and hymn books while samuel knocked them down. I was getting pretty sad that I couldn't handle the kids and that I was looking for over a year's worth of sunday's just like this when Travis leaves next year. Then in primary, my class would not listen to me, making everything worse, then when we got out, I was told austin was whining and crying about every little thing not going her way, and Joseph was being....well Joseph, and that was it, for the rest of primary I struggled to keep from crying and actually had to go to the bathroom for a few minutes and cry a little bit, but I managed to keep the dam from breaking completly until we got home. Then I let loose, and my sweet little children they gathered around me hugging me and patting my back and telling me sorry, and that it was okay. When I was able to calm down, they proceeded to bring me things and try to make me feel better, they brought me water, and Joseph warmed up some chicken noodle soup, and samuel and betsy brought me pillows and blankets and Joseph turned on a church movie and we sat and watched it together. After that I talked to some friends and family, and then the kids and I played games outside for a couple of hours and had a lot of fun, we even had neighbor kids peeking over their fences watching us have our fun. I'm back to normal and ready to take on the world again! I think that every once in a while it is good for kids to see their mother cry, I remember vividly one time my mother cried because my brothers and I were fighting all the time, and how horrible I felt, and how I resolved to be good, so as not to make my mother cry again. It is interesting to see it from both sides. Does this kind of thing ever happen to you?